


Feels Like Fear, Like I'll Disappear

by Lucky107



Category: Alan Wake (Video Game)
Genre: Experimental Style, Gen, John Titor Theory, Non-Linear Narrative, Parallel Universes, Repetition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 01:45:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7782085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucky107/pseuds/Lucky107
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Nora sleeps, she doesn't dream.  Not anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feels Like Fear, Like I'll Disappear

**Author's Note:**

> Lift - Poets of the Fall - 2004

When Nora sleeps, she doesn't dream.

Not anymore.

The darkness - still and quiet - embraces her with a calm she hasn't felt in years.  There's a particular comfort to be found in the nothingness and for once her sleeping hours are more than just 'okay'.  For the first time, sleep is pleasant and Nora doesn't want to be woken up.

Some nights, though, the darkness is broken by filters of light that slice through the endless black.  Though faded, the light burns at Nora's eyes, so unaccustomed to the light after having lived for so long in the dark.

It's foreign and strange, but it's nostalgic, too.

In the light, Nora sees the transparent image of a face - a face that's thin and narrow, with details too faded to be distinguished.  Dark hair, short and messy, falls across the brow of the stranger and for a moment, Nora can almost place his name.

Why does her heart feel so tight when her mind cannot associate a name to this face?

There's not a single memory—it's lonely.

"Wait!"  Nora calls, trying to hold onto the memory of something that doesn't exist.  The more she tries to remember, the faster the light begins to fade.  Soon it will be lost forever.  "Who... are you?"

Nora awakens alone, sleeping in a bed that is not her own in a place that is not her home.  It takes some time to identify the foreign paintings on the wall, but she soon draws the conclusion that this must be a motel room.  She doesn't remember getting here, being here... but she's here.

Why?

When she catches movement in her peripheral, Nora turns toward the bathroom door and frowns.  A man - a man who is not her father - stands in the doorway with disheveled hair.  His face is rough and young; he's familiar and though his name lingers on her lips, Nora is at a loss.

"Did you have a dream?"  His voice is more concerned than curious.

For a moment, Nora just stares at him as though she's staring right through him.  She's trying to figure out who he is and, as if she's done this before, he's patient with her.  It takes her a moment to find a reply, but slowly, she confirms, "I... don't remember."

Offering nothing but a smile, the man allows Nora to sort through her thoughts at her own pace.  Everything is so spotty; she remembers everything in fragments, but rarely does she maintain a full picture.

Not anymore.

"How long have we been here?"  Nora asks, more curious than afraid.

Carefully the man sits down on the edge of the bed.  "It's only been about two hours, Nora.  We were on our way out of town, but you were pretty tired."

Fragments of the day slowly begin to return:  Nora was in town - a small town in Arizona, though she doesn't remember the name.  It's where she was born, where she was raised, and she has spent her entire life there.  Why can't she remember the name?

She met the stranger in a small cafe in town; he was a familiar face among an unfamiliar crowd.

Immediately they took up a table together and talked.  Nora talked about the reality behind her dreams and he talked about Bright Falls— _Bright Falls_ —Nora's head begins to throb.

"Jesus," she whispers, pressing her hand to her head.

Suddenly the stranger is rubbing her shoulder.  "You okay?"

When Nora lifts her face to look at him, she sees him sitting all alone in that cafe.  She sees his lifeless eyes on the front porch of that lodge by the lake.  She sees the first real traces of understanding she's seen in her lifetime.

"... Jake."

Her heart breaks when she realises that this is just another dream.

\- - -

The world is dark.

For Nora, the world is often dark - as if ready to rain - unless she's with Emma.

Emma is the sunshine in her life; her hope and her fear.  Emma provides the balance in Nora's life that no one else can.  Emma is her rock - she has been ever since that day in the third grade - and Nora knows that Emma's love is the only thing that keeps the demons at bay.

When she wakes up on the dining room floor, unsure of how she got there in the first place, Nora's concern grows as a stranger hovering over her comes into focus.

He helps her to sit up.

"I... I'm sorry," Nora offers, deadpan, but the man shakes his head.  Touching her forehead, she carefully dabs away spots of blood that bubble on the surface of her skin.  She really can't remember a thing.  "I don't know what came over me."

"Emma sent me," the man confirms, but Nora already knows that.  It's only because of Emma's love that Nora exists at all, so it was really Emma's kindness that brought the stranger to her and saved her life today.  "... Are you okay?"

"It's because of Emma that I've always been okay."

The man's face is full of genuine concern as he inspects the young waitress for injuries, but she can only shrug her shoulders in response to the hand he offers.  He's seen this look before - back in Bright Falls - and he's determined not to let this one slip into the dark.

Once Nora's back on her feet, she's shaking visibly.  "Would you like to go back to Emma?"

Nora nods her head, a spark of life returning to her now-bashful eyes.  She looks into the stranger's eyes, chasing after the fading light at the end of a long tunnel, and for the first time since they've met, she smiles.

\- - -

When Nora sleeps, she doesn't dream.

Not anymore.

The darkness - still and quiet - embraces her with a calm she hasn't felt in years.  There's a particular comfort to be found in the nothingness and for once her sleeping hours are more than just 'okay'.  For the first time, sleep is pleasant and Nora doesn't want to be woken up.

Some nights, though, the darkness is broken by filters of light that slice through the endless black.  Though faded, the light burns at Nora's eyes, so unaccustomed to the light after having lived for so long in the dark.

It's foreign and strange, but it's nostalgic, too.

In the light, Nora sees the transparent image of a face - a face that's round and welcoming, with details too faded to be distinguished.  Blonde hair, short and straight, frames the shape of the stranger's face and for a moment, Nora can almost place her name.

Why does her heart feel so tight when her mind cannot associate a name to this face?

There's not a single memory—it's lonely.

"Wait!"  Nora calls, trying to hold onto the memory of something that doesn't exist.  The more she tries to remember, the faster the light begins to fade.  Soon it will be lost forever.  "Who... are you?"

Nora awakens alone, sleeping in a bed that is not her own in a place that is not her home.  It takes some time to identify the foreign paintings on the wall, but she soon draws the conclusion that this must be a motel room.  She doesn't remember getting here, being here... but she's here.

Why?

When she catches movement in her peripheral, Nora turns toward the bathroom door and frowns.  A man - who is not her father - stands in the doorway with receding hair.  His face is round and he's flamboyantly dressed; he's familiar and though his name lingers on her lips, Nora is at a loss.

"Did you have a dream?"  His voice is more concerned than curious.

For a moment, Nora just stares at him as though she's staring right through him.  She's trying to figure out who he is and, as if she's done this before, he's patient with her.  It takes her a moment to find a reply, but slowly, she confirms," I... don't remember."

Offering nothing, the man allows Nora to sort through her thoughts at her own pace.  Everything is so spotty; she remembers everything in fragments, but rarely does she maintain a full picture.

Not anymore.

"How long have we been here?"  Nora asks, more curious than afraid.

Carefully the man sits down on the edge of the bed.  "It's been about two hours, Nora.  We were on our way out of town, but you were pretty tired."

Fragments of the day slowly begin to return:  Nora was in town - a small town in Arizona, though she doesn't remember the name.  It's where she was born, where she was raised, and she has spent her entire life there.  Why can't she remember the name?

She met the stranger in a small cafe in town; he was an unfamiliar face among a familiar crowd.

Immediately they took up a table together and talked.  Nora talked about the reality behind her dreams and he talked about Bright Falls— _Bright Falls_ —Nora's head begins to throb.

"Jesus," she whispers, pressing her hand to her head.

Suddenly the stranger touches her shoulder.  "Y-you okay?"

When Nora lifts her face to look at him, she sees raw and genuine concern.  She feels an aching in her head that hits like a hammer, blinding and obscene.  She feels a pain so real that she knows she's no longer dreaming.

"... Barry?"

As though she's reaffirming something she already knows - something she's known all along, even if she didn't know she knew - Nora reaches out to touch the man's hand.  In fragments she remembers a different life, a life in which she only existed as a fragment of someone else's life...

Finally, Nora has a reason to live outside of her dreams.  "I met a man named Alan Wake.  He's alive."


End file.
